Monday, June 4, 2012

Harrison Glen Lindemann

A week ago, I was blessed with a miracle. My son Harrison Glen Lindemann came into the world.
I began this blog almost two years ago, it was my way of processing the pain of infertility. I am in awe that I am writing an entry that is all about actually giving birth to a healthy happy baby.

Last night, Harrison and I were rocking and I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for the blessing of being able to be his mother. I just sat in the chair and cried. I couldn't really pray. All I could do was say "Thank You" over and over again. I do not deserve this blessing, there is nothing I did to make it possible. Harrison's existence, is the work of God.

Throughout my pregnancy, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who expressed love, support and true happiness for us. One of the most amazing things about getting pregnant in God's time, and not mine, is that we had a built in support system. The amount of love that people expressed for my unborn son was overwhelming. Thank You for hanging in there with us, celebrating with us and supporting us.

Bringing Harry into the world was tough, but somehow I never realized how tough. When we got to the hospital, we discovered the dreaded anemia had returned and my hemoglobin levels were dropping. Now I know how serious things were, but at the time I  never truly realized it. When the doctor says that they will make sure your blood is on hand, it means something, but I was somehow never stressed. At several points, my contractions actually stopped and they weren't sure that Harry was going to be able to get out. They were prepping a C-section room for me, but when the doctor came in and saw that Harry wasn't in any distress, and was doing fine. She let us try for a bit longer, and thankfully he came.

Now I know that Justin was updating on facebook, and I am so thankful for the support and love that was shared. There is nothing like bringing a baby into a world where he is so loved and wanted. My recovery has been slow, and there have been issues with feeding, but I continue to amazed by the miracle of son that we have been given.

This blog was supposed to be much more articulate, but I don't have a way of articulating the wonder and awe I feel at this moment.  In spite of myself, in spite of my positive and negative choices, in spite of the fact that I have done nothing in my life to deserve this, I have been blessed with the gift of the most beautiful baby boy. As overwhelmed and frightening this week has been, it has also been the best week of my life.  Thank you for supporting us, and going on this journey with us. We can't wait to see what happens next.

1 comment:

  1. I was very touched by your writing, JuliAnn. I'm so happy for both you and have a baby to love must be the most wonderful thing in the world. We, too, struggled with infertility. I'm so happy it worked out for you guys! :) Take care, and I hope you continue to feel better! ~Janet L.