At this moment, I am wife, mother, daughter, teacher, but I never stop being a mourner. I never stop thinking of you. Imagining you. Wondering what you would be like. This doesn’t add or subtract from my love for your siblings. Instead it reflects my empty space. The hole you left in my heart. We will always be a family missing a member. It never ends. It lessens, eases, but it doesn’t leave. Here in this moment I am overwhelmed with longing for you. It will pass, life will move on, but here and now you are close. The pain is close. The wings of grace which cover us will lift and fall, and we will continue on. You will go with us. Always with us. Never truly gone. Grieving you is like breathing. The reality of the pain resides deep inside. Planted and solid. A part of my being.