Friday, October 7, 2011

Whatta Mighty Fine Man

I married a man, not just in the gender terms, but in the good provider, totally responsible, self-sacrificing, upstanding, proud to be wife of man. My husband is loyal to the core. I fell in love with him on epic road trip to Disneyland. The longer we are together, the more I love him. His support for me through our journey of infertility was amazing and if you had asked me if there was anyway I could be more proud of, or more in love with, him a month and a half ago I would have said no.

That was before I saw him as a father. Justin the dad is amazing and he hasn't had it easy. Ashley wanted nothing to do with him for the first two weeks that she was here. She would refer to him in third person and refuse to engage with him no matter what he tried. It was painful to watch. He had waited so long to be a dad and the child was rejecting him. Neither of us knew what to do. He was angry and frustrated and hurt, but he didn't give up.

He doubled his efforts. He played Barbies and took her to the park. He encouraged her at swim lessons and crafted special days for the two of them. If she ignored him, he kept going back. When she seemed fearful, he reassured. No matter what she did , he continued to be there for her and after a herculean effort, she melted for him.

She misses him when he isn't home, and I am not allowed to read the story because "you don't do the voices good like Justin". She is worried about getting two spelling words wrong and swearing to work harder to impress him next week. When I pick her up from school, her first question is always "is Justin home yet?" This week she pretended to attack him so that she could give him a hug. I almost broke down and cried.

Justin the dad is choosing each day to demonstrate to Ashley that he is realiable and truly cares about her. No man has ever done this for her. You can see her blossom and grow in light of his love. I never thought I could love him more, but watching him the last month has made me fall in love with him in an all new way.

I am so thankful to blessed with such an amazing man as my husband and I hope I can be a wife who makes him feel blessed as well. Someone once told me that ninety percent of parenting was just showing up, but I think ninety percent of love is showing up. Justin shows up everyday to support and love us.  I am so excited to watch him grow as a person and a dad.

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