The last two weeks have been filled
with a lot of friendship talk. Ashley has never really had friends before and
has had some issues determining what makes a good friend and what makes a bad
friend. She has been exposed to some girls who are definitely in the latter
category. One of them has a very strong personality and seems to suck the other
girls into making poor choices. We have had a lot of talks about how you have
to walk away and when do you know if someone if is your friend. Part of me
feels awful, this kid is finally connecting with her peers and we have to break
the bubble and let her know that not everyone is good, not everyone is honest,
and some people are mean.
This has been an extra struggle for
me because I don't remember "learning" how to make friends. When I
asked my Mom about this, she pointed out that from the ages of 3-10 I was glued
to the side of Nicole. This was a bonus in the friend making market, I never
worried about making friends because I always had Nicole. I think we must of stood
up for one another, I don't remember being angry at other kids for being mean
to me, but I do remember yelling at a girl who lived in our neighborhood and
was mean to my cousin. I guess by the time we moved to Oregon, I was old enough
to just figure it out. Plus, I am pretty comfortable talking to anyone so that
helps.
It is weird how much you forget
about growing up. The little things, like the belief that any kid that comes up
to you is going to be your friend or that Narnia may really be in the back of
your closet. That coloring and singing are the two greatest things ever and
that every day is a brand new adventure. Mostly I am amazed at Ashley's resiliency.
Somehow, despite all she has been through, she has managed to hold onto her
innocence and her belief that people are good. That is a miracle.
I hope she learns what a good friend
is, and I pray that God sends her some amazing friends to bless her life.
Friends have always been hugely important in my life and I want her to have
those people that she can connect with at any moment. I truly hope she meets
someone in elementary school. There is something special about a friend, or
cousin, who can remember when set the house on fire because you wanted to know
what would happen you microwaved the Kleenex; and who was willing to always to be the first to
try our homemade Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
As we become adults, those people
become more precious because they connect us back to a time that feels so far
away. I know that the road of friendship isn't always easy. Sometimes, you
spend most of high school being friends with a girl who is mean to everyone,
and goes crazy when she isn't elected homecoming princess, and it takes one
clear moment of her being mean to someone else to walk away. There are moments
when the dorky boy who never has lunch is assigned to sit across from you at
lunch and even though you are annoyed at the time, he turns out to be one of
your oldest friends. People will hurt you, and not everyone will turn out to be
your best friend, but I hope that Ashley learns how to give people a chance. I
also hope that she gets to experience the joy of being a good friend with
someone for a long time.
A lot of foster kids miss out on this, and they are the ones
who really need friends. I hope each the lonely foster kiddos out there get to
have one true friend. To all my friends, old and new, thank you. I feel like I
have been slacking in the friendship category the past few months, but please
know that I can't wait to see and catch up with each of you.
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