Work

No one tells you that infertility is work. Actually no one tells you that a planned pregnancy is work. There is a lot of tracking and planning. Infertility adds to the workload. For almost two years (which is almost no time in the infertility world, some women work for decades), I researched, measured, documented, timed, recorded data, advocated doctors, tried various diets, took pills, had a minor surgery, and tried to stay sane. Having a baby became my second job. My uterus was my boss and she wasn't nice. She was demanding and mean. I put in a ton of work and was never rewarded.

What I didn't know was that my job should have started five years before. When I was 25, I started gaining weight. I had intense pain in my side and went to the doctor with three ovarian cysts. The gynecologist I was seeing at the time, told me it was nothing and all women went through hormonal changes at various periods of their life. I didn't like his answer, but I didn't push for another opinion.

I didn't start pushing until I had issues getting pregnant. I went through three doctors before I got to my current obgyn. After looking at my data, my history and running tests she diagnosed me with polycystic ovary syndrome. I was happy just to know what was wrong with me. She helped me lose weight and understand what was going on. She focused on infertility and gave me the best treatments possible. However, she also let me know that if the doctor so long ago had pushed harder, I may have prevented scarring on my ovaries and fallopian tubes.

I went as far as we were willing to go with medical infertility. To be honest, we could have gone further, but it is exhausting. I just didn't want to do it anymore. I have no regrets that we tried, and I can't go back and change the choices that I made so long ago, but I wanted to share this to encourage others to check in with their doctor and be honest when you want another opinion.

If you are my age, do not assume that everything is ok. Our generation has had more issues with pregnancy than any before us. It is hard to deal with infertility, but watching my best friend suffer through preeclampsia was awful. As children, we were exposed to toxic levels of hormones in our milk and meat.  A majority of women are fine, but make sure. Be proactive about your health. I wish I had taken some time to put some work into that earlier.